Specifically, what does it look like to be present? Present where you are, wherever you are. In life. In school. In jobs. In family. I’m talking about being resourceful with the time you are given. The last two weeks I’ve struggled with a few – or a lot – of nagging thoughts as I flew home to be with my mom as she underwent a third surgery against breast cancer. Obviously, it is important to be here, to be present, to be a help here. But even in light of it all, I’ve found my mind wandering, foggy, and honestly I’ve felt “behind.” Behind by my own standards, by what I’ve allowed myself to think or make up what I think others expect of me, or by how different it is being here than in Richmond with my mile-long to do lists. Working away from home isn’t bad. In fact it’s sometimes necessary and a good thing. Yet, there’s a call for balance. And just like a great style needs that statement piece, it can get too distracting and too busy really quickly. Maybe that’s a terrible metaphor, but I’m going to roll with it.
Usually, I’d be welcoming you to new a Weekend Wear post today. But the poignancy of this question, of this musing, would almost be a lie to me if I went on and did the normal and the expected. As if I’d be saying one thing and doing another. Faking it of sorts.
So my thoughts turn to doing one thing well. Then the next. And then the next after that. So I’m taking my own advice, and giving you permission to as well, and being PRESENT with where I am, today. It’s here, in this tiny town, that I’ve felt the breezes again. Here that I’ve waived at strangers in their cars as they pass by (because that’s normal in small towns). Here that I’ve celebrated my grandma’s 75th birthday, sorted pictures from childhood, planted flowers, ate local ice cream, and where I can hold my dad’s hand if I want to. Home is good for the soul, friends. It’s for the highest highs and the lowest lows. And while there are many, many things I feel tugging at me for attention, I’m choosing to be present. Not choosing irresponsibility. But rather, taking ownership of my time and making priorities. I love Richmond and I love what I’m doing as a photographer. I also love my family. I don’t think I was ever supposed to choose one over the other.
Today being present looks like having coffee with a friend, possibly picking strawberries and sorting more pictures with the momma. It means reading and staring out the window. It means pinning clothes on the clothesline and taking walks with the parents. And I like all of those options.
Take a moment to reflect and think of a few ways to be present with where you are. Maybe you need to make headway on that to do list. Or maybe you need to slow down and pour another cup of coffee. Either is okay. Do one thing and do it well.
…So, what are you up to today?
(And don’t worry, Weekend Wear will be back next week!)
Always,
–Tara M.
